Title: Seventeen

Artist: Winger

Album: Winger

Year Released: 1988

What It Is: Lolita, kind of, told in a hard rock (I can’t for the life of me call it metal, not with how the rest of the album is) style by dudes with perfect hair and teeth.

Riffage / Hookage: The saving grace for this song is the guitar riff. Sorry Mr, Winger, er…Kip, your vocals and bass playing ain’t the reason I paid the money for this. It was that riff.

Cowbell?: The drum sound is very 80’s hollow semi-electronic (I bet it was – the sound is just like that) and there’s no room for cowbell.

Words Of Wisdom: “And just when I thought she was comin’ to my door
She whispered sweet and brought me to the floor,
She said I’m only seventeen, but I’ll show you love like you’ve never seen
She’s only seventeen, daddy says she’s too young,
but she’s old enough for me”

Not with my daughter, you don’t! Mostly because you’re lame and play wussy ‘metal’ that is calculated for the hearts and minds of those that are wanna-bes. (Well, except this song and “Madalaine” – those are OK.) Especially for what you all did to “Purple Haze”. Instead of statutory rape, how about desecration of a national landmark?

Mixology Report: Sure, within reason. Like for people who appreciate some good 80’s camp. And those without daughters.

Top Five Genius Results: “Round & Round” – Ratt
“Turn Up The Radio” – Autograph
“Shake Me” – Cinderella
“Up All Night” – Slaughter
“Still Of The Night” – Whitesnake

Yes, I have all of those songs in my collection. Am I proud? Um…yeah sure why not.

For The Good Of The Order: Kip would have issues with this babe in these states: Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Virginia, Wisconsin and Wyoming. He may have issues in Utah, depending on if he was 28 or younger when he wrote this song.

Oh, why not…the vid…


Title: Waiting Room

Artist: Fugazi

Album: Fugazi EP (Later on 13 Songs with the Margin Walker EP)

Year Released: 1988

What It Is: The beginning of US post punk? Well, it’s not hardcore, but the band definitely had a DIY punk rock ethos adopted by hardcore bands from the dawn of time, though not as nihilistic as what hardcore had come to be, like Black Flag. (As Walter Sobchak said to the Dude, “Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.”) Two big names in the DC hardcore scene, Ian MacKaye (Minor Threat) and Guy Picciotto (Rites Of Spring, the first emo band so they say) came together to form Fugazi. This was their first recorded work, and it hit a big time nerve with the punk rock community.

Riffage / Hookage: A great bassline from Joe Lally kicks things off and MacKaye adds some classic power chords to the mix. This was before Picciotto decided to play guitar to add more texture to the sound.

Cowbell?: No, but Brendan Canty doesn’t mind the cymbals.

Words Of Wisdom:“My time is like water down a drain”

Mixology Report: Punk rock is always tough to throw into a mix because of its abrasive tendencies, though this one has enough classic rock moves in it to please some folks. So you can be subversive and give people what they need, like this. Sort of like wrapping your dog’s pills in bacon.

For The Good Of The Order: Currently, Fugazi are on hiatus. Will they come back and record and tour again? Who knows. I had a chance to see them when visiting my main man Moose in DC, but when we got off the Metro stop some people said the concert was rained out. So we went to a record store and then went back to his house. Silly us, the concert went on anyway. Morans!

I have a two-fer, because I wanted a live clip of Fugazi (in all of their skinny shirtless glory), but also wanted to illustrate the textures of the recording. So enjoy both, would ya?

Title: Mother

Artist: Danzig

Album:  Danzig

Year Released: 1988

What It Is:Rather much straight ahead rock and roll for the most part. It took a while for it to catch the ear of anyone not inclined to follow the path of the pocket-sized ex-Misfit. You can blame (credit) Mike Judge’s miscreants Beavis and Butthead for that as they showed the LIVE version on their show. They said it ruled, of course!

Riffage / Hookage: Well, it’s that opening guitar riff. That’s the whole song right there. Without that Glenn’s just mewling along to no one in particular. But the riff’s why it’s in the club!

Cowbell?: Nah, that would take away from Danzig’s singing, well, at least he’d think so.

Words Of Wisdom: Are Danzig’s words wise? Oh, ok…

“Do you wanna bang heads with me?”

Ok, satisfied?

Mixology Report: Decent for those in an almost, but not quite, metal mood.

For The Good Of The Order: I’ve never understood Danzig’s appeal, in ANY band. All of his records are just so-so, okay, meh. I think the Misfits worked in THEORY, but not in practice. But that’s just me.

Here’s the original clip. Riff-tastic, isn’t it?

Title: Betty Drops In

Artist: Scruffy The Cat

Album: Moons Of Jupiter

Year Released: 1988

What It Is: A highlight from a long-lost album by a long-lost bunch of Bostonian neo-traditionalists. They utilized a mandolins, banjos, along with rockin’ ‘lectric guitar to create a unique yet satsifying sound. You probably can find this one laying around the internet somewhere, on a torrent or a .rar file.

Riffage / Hookage: The main guitar riff that starts the song is strong! If it was heavily distorted it would be a heck of a metal riff.

Cowbell?: Scruffy used basic insturmentation without a lot of frills, and the drummer seemed to use a minimal (though not spartan) set up.

Words Of Wisdom: Betty sits to the right of Will
Betty sits on the windowsill
And she flys around all day long
And she works with my best friend”

I am guessing that good ol’ Betty is some sort of bird, perhaps. Hey, it works.

Mixology Report: This is pretty generic and rocking enough to throw on most mixes, especially for those who really don’t care that they don’t know the songs they haven’t heard yet.

For The Good Of The Order:Scruffy was dead in between the Long Ryders / Green on Red / Rank & File roots movement, and the Uncle Tupelo based alt-country sound. Not to say they wouldn’t have been more popular, but timing is the key to life.